This morning, my dad lost 5 lbs, Mom lost 3 lbs, and me.. the one who was working so fucking hard lost 1.1 lb.Needless to say I was mad. And confused. Also, I pretty much got so pissed at life- insurance is screwing me.. then the weight loss drama on top of that time of month- I was a wreck and needed ice cream. Didn't go over too well :/ I still manged to not go too crazy but I did enough damage.
Back to workouts and eating right. While the rest of my family does nothing. I still don't see how the universe see's this as fair.. but it does. I just want to get to that awesome place. Where I feel so sexy and great in my skin.
Had a long conversation a few nights ago over a boat load of tears. About how I feel I am the only one out of 4 people who agreed to lose weight this summer. Her being one of them. Although I didn't address this yet, I know it will be happening soon, she isn't doing it. Its so hard to know that you are doing everything under the sun to get healthy so she doesn't leave you and she maxes out on Micky Dee.
I have not told many about this, but she told me at the end of the school year if I don't either loose or maintain my weight she is going to leave me. Its a hard reality knowing the person who claims they love you unconditionally would say something like that. But, I also understand that she needs to remain attracted to me and if I gain weight she wont be able to do that.
The worst part is she isn't perfect either. That why we agreed to do this together. But she isn't doing her part. she is being lazy. Now, I love her and just because she doesn't keep on her half of the bargain does not mean I wont either. i want to be sexy. I want to be a smaller dress/pants size. I want to be healthy. It just concerns me, if she can't stay on task with something like this what would happen if we spent a much longer (like years) length of time together? Would this habit occur a lot? It's just frustrating I think.
Yes, she is very supportive of me. And when I told her about the 1.1 lb lost, she was undoubtedly more excited than I was. When I asked why she told me it was because she knew it was the first of many more. And yes, she is right, but is that really a necessity? I don't know. Its late and I'm thirsty..
I guess i just wish I was loosing more for the work I am putting in, and I wish when people say they are truly going to do this with me, that they actually will..
ok guys time for bed. This weekend is memorial day, I will be posting some Weight Watchers friendly food ideas for monday on this blog and the true meaning of memorial day on my main blog Krags Life.
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